Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
