So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We're too hungover to prance.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
