12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
