And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
