I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just threw up on my dentist
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
