he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
