I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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