Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
