You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Boobs speak an international language.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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