I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
