I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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