I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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