grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
