There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
