So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
