i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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