i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
