Pappa wants mamma naked
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
