I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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