I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
