Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
