i just google imaged poop.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
