Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
