Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
