Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
