I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
