either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
