im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
