You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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