We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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