Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
