A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
