your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
