carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
