"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
