We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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