She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
