guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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