I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
did i walk over a car last night?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
