so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
