i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
