Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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