they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
