Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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