Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
