11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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