And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
