i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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