so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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