Me. At least after what I've been through.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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