so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
