Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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