You made me cry and you don't even care
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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