We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
