he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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