His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
