Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
