im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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