I wish my penis had an off switch
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
