So drunk its hurt
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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