They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
