She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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