we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
