Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize