haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
