apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think my moral compass just broke
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
