HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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