my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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