He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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