....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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