did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Can I color on your dick again?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
