Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
