Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
