i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
