it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Pooping to opera.
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