what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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