Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
